I've just managed to download Ang Lihim ni Antonio (Antonio's Secret) courtesy of Kuya Miong and freaking loved it. Like LOVED IT!!! It has everything I've ever wished for in a Filipino gay film and more. Synopsis of the film here.

I thought it was very brave in all it's aspects and it was so unexpected, I fell in love with it. Like seriously. It did everything the back of my Dirty head wanted it to do (and did I mention it was so unexpected) that I fell off my chair. Lessee...Let's list them down. Ok, so first we were introduced to the dirty old gay guy Eli who picks up all the tricks and twinks and gives them the opportunity to star in Telenovelas on TV in exchange for some molestation. Eew! (I was actually just paying attention to the hot metizo guy with him) Then there was the straight-boys-I let-some-gay-guy-suck-me-off-confessions with friends in 'his' bedroom it was so hawt! Then came the bad-thoughts-I-want-to-touch-him-while-he-sleeps-coz-he's-so-damn-drunk-while-were-sleeping I'm shaking so furiously out of nervousness moments followed by the acceptance of the offer which was followed by the fondling, the kissing, the butt shots and the ultimate money shot for me...the dog-like powered humping. Wowz. What else? The movie was further illuminated by the unexpected promdy boy-next-door hawties that just suddenly arrive, followed by the awkward I-have-a-crush-on-you-stares during meals that spoke of longing. I was moved by the 1-on-1 confessions to a friend that 'I could be gay!' Then the straight-boy gay pick ups at bars, followed by the I-have-porn-on-my-phone turn on, made hotter by the real live masturbating with thick and big hot cocks. Gawd, where's the fan? Then, there were touching and fondling, there were the MUs, more touching and fondling, there were removal of briefs , there were real cock pulling and then pretend sucking, secret rendevous, then more pretend cock sucking and lastly, and I mean lastly...an almost real fuck/rape scene with real cocks flying around. AWESOME!!! *clap clap clap*

How I have only focused on the sex angle of this film on this blog. So sorry, malibog ako. The other underlying storyline like the Mom-Dad relationships and friendships were good too. It helped me not to pull my pants down and whip it out during the movie.

May I reiterate, this is not a porn film!!! It's probably just one of the greatest Pinoy Indie films I've seen of late.

I liked the start. The point where he introduced himself...and then went on to mention his other names like his nickname 'Tong', his Friendster and chat names yadda yadda yadda. It automatically brings you to that Indie Film mode, where you know this film could lead you anywhere, as long as there are no expectations.

More: The first sex scene between Antonio and his friend. Gosh, just the humping alone nearly got me off. It started off devious, since pinagnasahan nya yung friend and na. Then it became brave, since he initiated the move. Then sensual as he tried to touch him an inch above his skin. And when the friend reciprocated, it became sexual. Ok, so the kissing scene wasn't torrid, but that's expected, since he only craved to hipo and he actually got lucky and allowed him. HAWT!!! Second: Is the new 'It' of the Philippines. Heck, he could be the first HOT gay flick porn star of the Philippines if all I care. I mean, yes, in Parola did show his dick. But,

I was watching the extra credits and Direk Joselito Altarejos was right. Marikina looked really really clean. Even I noticed that in the first part of the film especially when Antonio was riding his bike around.

more later...

Apparently this is the latest pic of my Japanese FaFa Satoshi Tsumabaki for DoCoMo from celebritycm. I'm a bit skeptical kasi medyo di nya kamukha??? But if it is him, graveh mga sis...he's so matured and grown up in this pic. Wafu!!! *woof woof*

I first discovered FaFa Satoshi sa movie nyang Nada Sou Sou which made me cry and made it's theme song one of my ultimate J-Pop favourites. It was such a favourite of mine, I sang it everytime we Karaoked in Japan. *woohoo fun times* Oh of course you can watch him too in the controversial Waterboys where he is more popular with the boys.

If you haven't seen it (and you have ulitmate downloads and streaming), then feel free to watch both Waterboys 1 & 2 at chinkymovies here.

Of course testicular cancer can affect any man at any one time. Hence we are encouraged to continuously check our balls for lumps every once in a while to avoid any complications. I learnt this by reading a lot of magazines.

Lo and behold, something out of youtube has popped up to actually show us how to properly do it. Something about a bunch of rugby team players (Moseley) from Britain and a very lucky lucky man to show them how to test for testicular cancer. Wow, flesh live cocks out of youtube??? How did this pass...and thank Gawd for it. (obviously the Moseley team doesn't mind the scandal if it borders something educational) Oh and note: (as repeated quite a lot in the small film clip) Having your right balls bigger than your left is quite quite common and absolutely normal!!! So don't worry lads...

Watch here:



Oh and just in case you didn't get that...here's a few more lessons from other clips:

Chika chika lang. I had the chance to speak a bit with the Poms working with me at GC today and one conversation led to another. Phil and Thom are apparently good mates with Leoh and I even found out a little about where they lived.

Then the bomb was dropped.

AALIS NA SYA!!! *waaaaaaahhhhhhh*:( :( :(

Apparently the Pommy boys are leaving in a couple of weeks to continue their trek around the world before they head home.

Shet shet shet.

Leoh was working at the Box Office today taking calls for bookings so I didn't really see him all day even though we almost started at the same times. But he did stop by a couple of times at GC and of course my 'Torpe' mode went all up again.

I was surprised when he first came in just before the end of his shift. He was looking for Thom. We both nodded to each other like we usually do. (how lame! That's probably because we've both never really introduced ourselves to each other properly. Either my fault or his or we're both just really Torpe!!!hahaha) It was a little odd because in reality, he could've just walked in around the premises and looked around the kitchen for Thom. But no, he went in nearly headed towards the kitchen since he didn't notice Thom was around, turned back and spoke to me. I don't know what it was, but it was like it was the first time I've really heard his voice. It was nice and deep and very manly. My heart skipped a bit and I swear I saw a love heart float from somewhere (like the animes.hahaha) Ah, to be in love. Ako naman, parang tanga, almost stuttering, and (kasi medyo nag pause ako to think where Thom was, kasi nga medyo na love-struck ako for a few seconds kaya di kaagad ako nakasagot)..."ummm in the toilets I think?!" And he left. *waaaaaahhhhhh*

Ok, in my own little fantasy world, when he turned back to ask me where Thom was, that was a sign that he wanted a chance to talk to me. When in fact, I really wanted to break the ice too and ask him "Oh are you working here today?" (as in GC 'coz he was sporting the same uniform and me pretending I didn't know he was at bookings today) and just bloody strike a conversation.

I didn't realise how long he was in the kitchen. I got thirsty and was about to go to the kitchen and get some water. Just as I was about to enter, I heard his footsteps and saw his shadow coming towards me and boom, the stupid little me ran at the opposite direction to pretend to have forgotten something. Oh Mah Gawd...para akong timang? Anuvahyan mga sis? Nasisiraan na ata ako ng bait? Iba na to ah...

My last sorta interaction with him was when he came back again and said goodbye to his mates and said he'll see them at home. Now now, in my own little prefect fantasy, he came back because he wanted to pass by me, maybe say something and say goodbye. The bitchy Torpe little me didn't even look up. Shet shet shet.

Tapos yun, kinuwento nga ni Phil na aalis na daw lahat sila soon. *waaaaahhhhh*

Ano mga sis??? Susubukan ko pa syang kausapin ng ganito? Paano yan. Paano nga kung tama yung hinala ko na may gusto din sya sa akin, tapos we got to know each other really well, tapos bigla na lang syang aalis. Di parang wala ding kwenta di ba? How I wish na sometimes, people actually read my blog and gave me advice...sana.

Anyways, maybe I will get to know Phil a little and ask him undeliberately about Leoh. *sigh*

WOWZ!!! Anu to? Pagcheck ko ng e-mail ko, eto ang nadatnan ko.

Dalawang beses nang sumulat yung tsuper uber crush ko sa DL.

Sabi na nga ba, gagayumahin ko lang konti.hehehe Hindi nya kasi pinansin yung una kong e-mail sa kanya. So nagpapansin uli ako.

Kasi medyo KSP sya.hahaha Not in a bad way. Naiintindihan ko naman sya. Medyo malayo ngaun ang tinitirahan nya at wala sya dun makasama. At kung meron man, siguro di alam ng mga kaibigan nya sa Manay Po sya at isang kafatid.

Madami syang pinopost sa DL. Mga thoughts nya at kung anu-ano. Siguro lang, alang pumapansin. Kasi walang nagre-reply. Ako lang ang nauna.

Kaya lang, magkabilang mundo ang pagitan namin. Super layo kami kahit na pinagpapantasyahan ko sya ng sobra.

Siguro nga, pwedeng maging friends lang muna kami. Ok na yun.

I've finally managed to watch Sebastiane, the story about the martyr sexless saint. (I've downloaded this ages ago wanting to know more about his story everytime I saw a painting of him in Europe + for religious reasons)

It's a super old British film (though it's in Italian w/ subs) filmed in 1976 starred by Leonard Treviglio as Sebastian and it follows the story of a supposed beautiful exiled soldier and his companions. Personally I think it's a miscast. He's supposed to be beautiful and all. Leonard wasn't all that to me. They should've casted the other guy with the longish curly hair as Sebastian to fit more of the depictions of him in paintings.

I'd give this to them though. For a 1976 film, man were they good to pass the classifications. (did it even exist then?) Costume would've been very happy with this...or lack of thereof. The amount of cocks bouncing in this movie is gratuitous!!! (that's me saying I loved it! ^-^) And at least they did fulfill the homoerotism that's supposedly included in his story in the film. Adrian and Anthony's characters (played by Ken Hicks and Janusz Romanov) as lovers were very hot. Like it was straight out of a gay 70's porn. Lurve it. I really felt it for Severus' (Barney James') uber horny and love torn character as the lead soldier. To love like that but to be never loved back in return is so much a gay man's story. Must I also add, Barney James for a white man has such exotic looks I just wanted to either draw or photograph him...

For the movie, I might give it a 7 out of 10. Only because Sebastian wasn't doing it for me and the opening nearly turned me off the movie all together. I'm not sure how religious this movie was supposed to be, with the toned down sex scenes and the 80 mins of nudity, but I did feel how strong Sebs conviction was to remain a virgin. Bravo to him. Christ would've been really proud. (guess that's why he became a Saint) But to be killed just because of that...how flinstone is that.hehe I gave it a 7 because of Ken Hicks and well the nudity. At least it relieved a little of my own horniness.hahaha

I'm just wondering now how close the storyline is to the real thing. Did Seb really have this much temptation in life. Mah gawd, if that was me, I would've been sent to hell 10 mins from the beginning of the movie.hahaha

Watch some previews here:

Graveh. Tsuper asar ako sa sarili ko ngaun as in. Kasi I'm so torpe. with a capital 'T'.

Di ko kasi alam na magka-shift uli kami ni Leo. As in we started at the same time. Pero dun sya sa Candy Bar ngaun at ako naman sa Box Office. Pero di ganun kalayo. Yun nga lang, di ko sya nasisilayan. Siguro pag naglilinis lang sya which is bihira.

Mga moments na nag cross ang mga landas namin:

* Nung pag pasok nya sa shift nya. Nandun na ko sa computer ko sa Box Office at dumaan sya sa likod ko para kunin yung float nya para sa til nya. Di man lang tumingin ang gung-gong. (^.^)/

* Nung nagwawalis sya. I swear, tumingin sya sa akin. Pero baka napatingin lang. Masyado ko namang dinadamdam.

* Nung kausap nya si Simon sa CBar. Bored kasi si Simon at alang ginagawa. Siguro nasa til si Leo at kinausap nya ng saglit. Pero sa Box Office, kitang kita ko silang naguusap.

* Nung break ko. Kinausap ko kasi Adam kung pwede kaming makipag-swap ng shift para sa Sabado. Andun si Leo, malapit lang. Ewan ko kung napansin nyang kausap ko si Adam.

* Nung tapos na sya sa shift nya at dumaan uli sya sa likod ko. Nahiya akong tumingin.

* Nung hinand-in ko na yung float ng til ko kay Ray at Anne sa office. Nakatalikod sya sa akin. Di nya siguro napansin na andun ako kasi kay dami ng tae sa maliit na office. Meron syang ginagawa kaya siguro tsuper busy sya.

* Nung tinanong ako ni Ray kung nagbalance daw yung til ko. Oo naman ako. Kaya lang, ang bruhang Ray ay tinawag ako sa full name ko. Sabunutan ko yung baklitang yun eh. Di ko alam kung nadinig ni Leo ang tunay na pangalan ko. Iba-iba kasi ang tawag sa kin ng mga tao. Di ko tuloy alam kung nalilito na sya.

* Nung pabalik ako sa office galing Candy Bar. Patungo sya sa akin at bigla naman akong ilag na kunwari kakausapin uli si Adam. Shet.

* Dun naman sa Candy Bar. 5 minutes early kasi akong natapos so pinadala ako sa Candy Bar para tumulong maglinis. Winawalis ko yung floor nung lumapit sya banda sa akin, nagdaanan ang landas namin pero di kami nagtinginan. As in TORPEHAN 2 Da Max mga sis. Aray ko po!!!

* Nung pababa na ko sa escalators galing office. Nagtitext kasi ako. Tumingala ako kung napansin nya ko. Medyo ata kaya baba uli ang ulo ko.

Shet. Shet talaga mga sis. Sana merong tutuong tao akong makausap sa problema kong 'to para give to me some advice.

Ewan ko ha. Siguro paranoid lang ako. Pero in my fairyland, feel ko na papansin sa kin si Leo. Lalo na nung nakita nya akong naglilinis nung popcorn sa Candy Bar nila. Wala namang syang dahilan para lumapit sa kinaroroonan ko pero lapit din sya. Tapos walang imik o kibo sa akin, kahit na nagkausap naman kami kahapon. Ewan. Parang pareho kaming nagkakahiyaan sa isa't isa. Ewan kung di lang talaga sya palakibo o takot din sya sa akin. Ano tingin nyo???

Eto pa mga sis. Meron akong kabababalaghang ginawa ngaung gabi. Ganito kasi yun.

Sa office daw, meron isang listahan ng mga pangalan ng lahat ng bawat isang staff sa work namin at ng kanilang mga telepono. Ewan. Para daw kung kailangan namin makipagpalit ng shift, pwede naming tawagan yung mga taong walang pasok nung araw na yun.

Anyways, dinig dinig ko lang yun. Pala mga sis totoo. Pagpasok ko ng office kanina, ayun yung orange at laminated na paper kung saan nga nakasulat ang bawat pangalan namin. E ano naman ang gagawin ng isang katulad ko na may tsuper crush sa isang workmate nya. E di ano pa nga ba??? E di kunin yung number nya davah!!!hahahaha Ang landi landi ko...anuvahyan.

So yun ako kanina sa tren paguwi ko. Tsuper kaundigaga at iniisip maiigi kung saan ako nagkamali. Na asar na asar ako sa sarili ko na wala akong ginagawa. Na pa tsuper taray epek ako sa kanya at di pinapansin kahit na ang lapit lapit na namin sa isa't isa.

Malay natin, baka sya na ang lalaking pinakakahihintay ko. Pero ewan. Sarap suntukin sarili ko. Sana mas magaling ako dito...Shet.