I am in such low moods. I feel like the stars have unaligned and destiny has parted our side.

Justin didn't turn up for work again. I'm sure he has his reasons...

But this week has been pretty empty without him. I wake up and pronounce his name. I go to sleep pronouncing his name. I even wrote a whole page muttering his name and thinking about his image just to summon him back into my life.

Last weeks rosters determined that, if lucky, we'd have at least 15mins spending time with each other. That 15mins was shattered today when he didn't turn up to work.

And I had it all planned in my head too.

I'd finish at 5:15 just as he would be coming in for work. I would run and iron my yellow shirt, splash on my fave perfume, look hawt and then sit by the bar where I work and pretend to read my Twilight book as I waited for my gurl friend to turn up with her cousins. He would be standing at Point looking all confused and jealous. I would smirk secretly...

None of this happened tonight. Shattered!

I picked up next weeks roster which turns out worst than this weeks. He's only working on Sunday (my official day-off) and Monday night where I work by day. Fuck! Cupid has abandoned his post.

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On the upside...

For the very first time, Mitch smiled at me today. I mean he did this on his own accord. It was my Santa hat that did it. But him to initialise a smile was way way worth it. It was sweet I gushed all over. Plus we had a little conversation which is a break in the ice.

Robert came over the bar after his shift and spilt his beans. I like it when he does this and tells me things. I feel a little bit more special. Except I know he speaks to everyone and he's such an open book everybody knows everything about him. Anyways, he was in such a bad mood for being cut plus it didn't help that he was fined by the cops yesterday that he probably felt like everything was going wrong. He wanted to go for a drink with me even if he knew I didn't drink. This is the first I suppose. He's never really invited me to anything. He just wanted company. (hence I shouldn't really place much thought to this) But it was nice. If I didn't have plans already I would've obliged. *sigh* It didn't help that I had a crush on this guy a few months ago.

Martin was also there. He mentioned that it's his birthday on Saturday and he invited me. I have no idea what kind of bar he's into but it's at the Cross. *ooooohhhh* He also once again mentioned when we were going on our mandate?haha Pity he doesn't take anything seriously. Coz if he did, I'd be so up for pashing him. (sans the braces) But since I'm in such low moods and self esteem, this needs a serious act of desperation and go for the fifth next best thing.

That's 3 straight guys who tried to distract me today...what's with me and straight guys??? Loser!

So Plan E, take Robert out to a bar on his next offer and pash him, go out with Martin on Saturday for his birthday, watch him get drunk and pash him, then make a move finally on Mitch and pash him. hahahaha

Even I'm laughing at myself now.

I love you Mitch!