I don't think I'm in love. In fact he's not all that either. But I did have a little crush on him and he did say "Kono hito wa daisuki desu!!!" once to a colleauge when he caught him hugging me. But the bastard has moved on to better places.

And yet, I still keep seeing, reading and hearing his name.

This used to happen a lot when I was intoxicated with Paolo and Justin.

And now...Arthur.

Hmmmm...maybe I should give him a call?

Last day daw ngayon ni Llyod sa work and I'm not on shift today. *shite*

He was kinda my crush when he first started even though he was your typical Aussie Aussie bloke and he had his own assumptions about sissies. He was ok when he started but when he moved up the ladder and became a manager, he kinda changed. People started disliking him and he totally forgot what it was like to be at the bottom.

Plus he lost his tongue and well, we realised we had nothing in common so everytime we'd try to converse, well, wala. He was so dumb.

But I had my own theories about him. I really reckon he's closeted and he a has a big thing about me. I can tell by the way he looks at me. It's different from the way the others guys look at me at work. And when he's around me, it feels like he doesn't know what to say. So TORPE!!!

And now he's leaving and last night was the last time I would've spoken to him. He said, "Hey ____!" and walked off. I said, "Hey mate!"

That's it. Sayang. Another boy-crush chapter closed.

So nababasa mo to Lloyd Kely eto lang ang 1 minute message ko sa yo:

Lloyd, I never hated or disliked you. I liked you more than you could ever imagine. (like seriously) It may have only looked that way because you started to look and sound really dumb once you got that position. You could've done so much more. Like improve the problems at CB. I know I never got to tell you (partially because you hid it from us) but I was very proud of you when you became Duty Manager. Ok, so you didn't do it like the way the others would've done it, but you did it and you shook yer thing! ;D If it was another time, I wish it turned out better. I hope you're better at this with the girls.haha Though your time with Ray really made me wonder.

Well mate, good luck back in Qld. I don't know what your plans are, but go for gold mate. If you're ever tech smart and find this hidden(ish) message, and have matured more and know how to handle things, get back to me. This time I might really entertain you. And mate, let's not talk about sports...

PS. When you told me you were partially Aboriginal and "No one really know's that about me" I, for a second, finally thought we had something going. Sharing secrets... we could've gone so much further.

New Supervisor Matt was on at GC tonight as our Supe. I never knew he was doing GC now.

He's so hawt! Like he's only my height but he's so buffed and he's butt. My gawd, the things I could do with those butt.

I've just found out he's Leb (and-oh-that-hairy-chest) and well and I'm working my way to totally flirt around him in a very subtle way.

I just want to lick him all over.

Ang saya saya ko. Graveh!!! Like SOBRA!!! Like there is a GOD!!! Why?

Kasi nakasama ko sya kanina. Sino??? Yung crush ko sa work. Graveh ang wafu wafu nya. As in SOBRA. Dark hair, blue eyes, my height...and oh mah gawd, a butt to die for. As in.

We'll call him Leoh.

Pag dinadaanan nya ko sa work, pagkatalikod na talikod nya, yung pwet nya kaagad ang tinitingnan ko. As in. Kasi bakat na bakat sa pantalon nya. As in...sarap.

Anyways, kasi ganito yun. Matagal na ng batian ang mga mata namin ni Leoh sa work. Sya actually yung una kong nasilayan. Nung palakad pa lang ako sa first day ko, nakita ko syang nakatingin sa akin dun sa McDo across ng trabaho namin. Akala ko kung sino lang syang nakatayo duon, ayun pala, staff din sya sa amin. Nung papasok na kami sa meeting, nakasabay ko sya. Tapos merong konting introductions ng mga baguhan, dun ko nadinig ang pangalan nya. Leoh. Aaaahhhhhhhh....

Pero hanngang dun na lang. Wala ng ibang pansinan. I mean, nakikita ko sya, pero yun lang. Kasi di kami magkasama sa building. Palagi syang nilalagay sa ibang section na di naman ako nilalagay.

Except for today. Aaayyyyy!!!

It started out as a normal day. Bago ako sa Gold Class section namin. 10:30 ang start ko and it ended up na kami lang ng supervisor ko ang on. Kaya kaundagaga kami kasi tini-train nya ko, tapos ang dami na naming kailangang gawin.

Dumaan sa bintana si Leoh. Napahinga lang ako ng mabigat. *sigh* Ang wafu wafu nya kasi. Pero like hanggang dream on na lang ako.

Well until 12:30 came and he walked in. Shet shet shet!!! Sa section pala namin sya. Ngeks. As in panic attack ako mga sis. So ayun, deadma ako. Lucky kami kasi saviour of the day namin sya. Sya na yung gagawa nung mga kailangang gawin. So paminsan minsan, nagkakadaanan uli kami sa work. Magtitinginan, konting smile and nod, yung lang.

Graveh...mamamatay ata ako sa excitement. Pero I have to contain it. Baka may makahalata sa work.

Of course ala akong alang sa kanya besides his name. Actually, I lie. Ginoogle Search kaagad sya pagdating ko sa bahause kasi nga alam ko na ang pangalan nya. As in "Stalker Mode". bwahahaha Katakot ako.

Ayun, nahanap ko ang myspace account nya. Ok lang. Tsuper wafu nga sya at medyo payat pa sya dyan sa mga pics nya. Ngayon mas medyo maskulado na sya at matingkad ang dating. Type na type ko sya. Graveh. Kamukha nya yung crush ko noon na porn star na si Eric Hanson. Ayan (hint hint) medyo magkapangalan pa sila. Tapos I found a pic pa of Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds star Marco Drapper na kamukha na rin. As in crush ko sya to the bones. Aayyyyyyy!!!

Ok, so medyo di kami magkatagpo in terms of music. At dahil British sya, it's acceptable na soccer fan sya. Pwede kong i-break yung ice and laugh that he likes 'Neighbours'...oh mah gawd, that's so daggy. Kaya yun.

Pero mukhang mga dag ang prends nya. Paano yan? Pag naging kami na, I have to deal with them.hahahaha As ip.

Anu pa ba? 5'9 daw sya. Lie. He's my height and I'm only 5'6. Medyo corny din ang mga paborito nyang movies. As in di nakakatawa. Patay tayo dyan. Mukhang walang wala kami in common besides work and our height.

Doomed na ba from the start???

Anyways, basta ang saya saya ko ngaun sa work kasi nga nakasama ko sya.

Medyo tense pa kami sa isa't isa dahil ang feeling ko, crush nya din ako.bwahahaha As in. So pagnagkakasama kami, parehong deadma para di kami magkabukuhan dahvah. So I broke the ice when he came. Sabi ko wala akong alam sa bar kasi nga di ako umiinon. Ang response nya naman, isang beses pa rin din ang experience nya sa bar kaya di nya din masyado alam. Kuno. He had the perfect opportunity to lure me in. First he was explaining where the beers go and what the glasses mean. Then he showed me the wines, which he didn't know much about. Tapos yun na. Yun na ang longest exchange of words namin.

As in downhill na yung buong araw.

Kasi nga deadma ako. Playing so hard to get. So so TORPE!!! *wahwahwaaaaaaahhhhhhh*

Buong araw dinedma ko sya. Tinging tingin lang. Merong time na kunwari pinagaaralan ko kung paano gawin yung deserts. (well I was) Palapit na sana sya sa akin kaya lang siguro akala nya busy ako. Hindi, lapit ka lang. Kausapin mo ko. Halika dito!!!

So the rest of the time, I tried to get to know the other staff na lang. At least sila mas nakilala ko pa. Yung isa pa ngang babaeng Thai natanong na ko kung may gf daw ako at love life na ang napagusapan namin. Yung iba naman, naamoy na ang mabango kong pabango. Nakapagtawanana na kaming lahat. Nakausap ko pa yung isang kaibigan ko ng French na naagaw ko sa kanya.

Anuvahyan mga sis. Anung gagawin ko??? Parang takot na takot syang kausapin ako. Di pa nga kami nakapagproperly introduce each other. Mamamatay na ata ako.

Dalawang beses ko lang syang napatawa. Nung isa nung nagliligpit sya. Joke ko, "Don't drop anything!" Natawa naman ang gungong. Tapos nung bumalik sya sa break nya, joke ko, "Where's your apron mate?" Nagulat sya, at sabi nya palagi na lang nyang nakakalimutan. Tapos, merong isang order na kailangan ng frozen coke. Eh wala sa amin, kaya kinailangang pumunta ako sa Candy Bar. Andun din sya pero di ko sya pinansin. Pagbalik ko, kumuha na din pala sya. Napangiti sya tuloy.

Pero yun lang. Wala na. Pagkatapos nga ng shift ko, di man lang nya akong pinansin. Di man lang nagba-bye. Pero nung nagpa-pack-up na yung isang babae, pinansin nya pa at sabi nya, "Are you finished?" Where's my "Are you finished?" convo??? *waaaahhhhh*

Pero napansin ko, tahimik sya. As in di mapalabiro. Ewan ko kung dahil madami lang babae sa shift namin. Kasi nung dumating na yung boys sa afternoon shift, medyo dumaldal na sya. He's a rigorous worker. Hindi na sya kailangang utusan. Gagawin na nya kaagad. Yun lang.

Pero ang wafu wafu nya nga. Lalo na pagnag-smile sya. Tsuper Wafu!!! Ano gagawin ko. Eh ang dali daling main-love sa kanya. *waaaaaahhhhh*

Pagkatapos ko ng work, parang ang gaang gaang ko. Ang saya saya ko at sya lang ang laman ng isip ko. Baka nga magalit sa kin si Lord dahil sa Vigil, di ako makapag-concentrate sa prayers. Sya lang at ang mga fantasies ang nasa isip ko. *waaaaahhhhhh*

Tingnan na lang natin ang mga susunod na kabanata...

Graveh mga ate!!! Tsuper gwapo naman si FaFa Piolo dito para sa Bench. Gusto ko tuloy bili ng plane ticket and go see him at Glorietta sa Sabado para lang dito. Teka, anu ba ang gagawin nya dun. Crush ko sya dito. Ang bango bango nya. Secret lang...kasi sa best prend ko sya. Pero kung ganito lang palagi ang itsura nya no...oo Piolo, ako na si Sam.bwahahaha

O sige kita-kitz!!!

In fairness...ang cute cute ni FaFa Vergel dito sa ep 17 ng Kamandag. Ingat ka FaFa Richard...baka mahulog ang loob ko sau nyan kung ganyan palagi ang itsura mo. Emote at tsuper gwapo. hehe

Ano ba yan mga ate. Nakita nyo ba ang suot ni Mark Anthony 'Lucero' ep 7 & 8 sa Kamandag. Nakakaloka. Orange na at sssoooo sssoooo GAY fah!!! O da ba!? Almost kadiri. Bakit sya pumayag magsuot nyan? Yaks.

Pero in fairness, FaFa Mark looks really great in this show. Like 'Secret Crush' ko sya kahit na bad boy talaga ang image nya. ~aayyyyyy~