Finally managed to download Walang Kawala (No Way Out) with from Kuya Wingtip. Thanks Kuya.

I thought I'd write my thoughts as I watch and pause the film as my thoughts bewilder me.

My thoughts: Our film making is really getting better. The opening sequence wowed me already. I don't know where that place is, but it seemed nice and it made me want to go there. I've managed to appreciate Polo Ravales more and more kasi he does all these Indie films even if they are mahirap roles. Yun nga lang, sa simula, bakit parang ang laki ng ngipin ni Polo? (tsuper payat na ba sya mga sis?) Enter slut. I hate her already. I mean she was a real good cast for this role. Nice firm boobs, long pretty hair, quite a nice face... and a real whore at that. Acting wise, questionable. Why does she speak to her Mum like she's a distant relative? Where's the carinho? And what's with the accent? Eew annoying. The rain scene was bittersweet and fitting. The real rain at least brought out both mens really cut bodies. (YUM!) I feel for Waldo though. It's like watching your loved one slip away slowly.

Hence he runs away. I'd do the same too. It's more dramatic.

Marco Morales is so studly. There's something about his X Factor that really oozes. And bilib ako sa courage na. It's like, "Kung hubaran lang, sige na nga, hubaran na!!!" Now that's going for gold. I know how Filipinos admire this kind of attitude.

Wow #1. OMG he really showed his cock. Marco Morales really showed his cock?!!! Amazing!!! I mean showing cocks in Philippine gay cinemas aren't new to me anymore, but OMG, his cock was nice.

WOW #2. Talaga??? Nagpahipo si Joseph (Waldo)? Now this one's new to me. Bye-bye teeny-bopper roles. This is something they've never really explored before. Bravo to you Mr Lamangan for really pushing your actors. This is super daring!!! Kawawa naman si Paolo Rivero. He's one of those next door types that you just want to bring home. Then the rejection from Waldo after the hipo scene. (amazing scene!!!) But the reject was harsh dude.

The scene where Paolo and Joseph fight must be the funniest part of the film. It's like they kept calling each other "Faggot!!! Faggot!!!" when they're actually both faggots.hahaha

The storyline gets a tad slow when it sways to the Ruffo and the wife Beng scenes. I dunno. I know this is where the other drama is supposed to happen but it takes it away from the gayness of the film. Oh well, I guess it has to happen.

WOW #3. Grabe ha!!! Ilang beses nagpahipo si Joseph (Waldo) dito ha?! First from Paolo, and now with Emilio. That rape scene with was amazing. Who would've thunk Mr Respectable Emilio Garcia from Kamandag would go so far. Bravo again Mr Lamangan. Emilio was amazing in this cruel role! Really super torrid kissing scenes.

WOW #4. This is when Mr Lamangan mostly amazes me. When he's managed to pull the child inside Polo Ravales. The other rape scene with him and Emilio were a lot more degrading. The gun in his mouth being pushed in and out like he was sucking cock was enough to make any man cry. I would cry. (even if it's somewhat a fantasy from some gay men) Emilio was great to bring Polo to tears. The unsuspected slapping and harassment is really good work. Very believable. And when Polo wakes up and remembers the nights horrific ordeal is when the child within Polo re-appears. You can hear it in his squeaky voice. When the manly tone disappears and the boy appears and is left to screech like a woman. And when he was about to eat his lunch, you get a sense that everything just turned helpless. There's really not much else to do but weep and cry.

Third rape scene. Emilio Garcia, Sean Cody Philippines in the making. Bravo boys. This must've been a really hard scene to do???

And we end.

Shet naman. Sa lahat pa ng mamatay, yung gwapo pa. In fairness, though I rolled my eyes, the last kiss was kinda sweet. I didn't expect the ending to twist like this but it did. I don't blame Joseph for his last revenge. Any man would do the same if fate has led him to this.

Overall: I was reading someone's review about this film just before I watched the movie. Super harsh yung review and I don't think it merited such negative remarks. Yes, I will admit that sometimes, when I'm about to see a Filipino film, I lower my standards a little in order for me to enjoy it more, but this wasn't the case for this film. I think Mr Lamangan did a fantastic job along with the whole cast. (except for Joaquins wife. She suxed!) The scenes were very believable and the feelings were very true. This is a love story afterall and not all love stories are fairy tales. Out of ten, I'd give this a perfect 9. If Polo showed us his, then it would've been a standing ovation for me.hehehe

Well done guys!!! I hope there's more things like this from Polo to come. *cheeky grin*

God, I nearly lost it. I nearly lost my Lenten promise to you that I keep clean and not touch myself until Easter.

But last night I had a strange dream with Ralph Fiennes. He's not even my type. I think this was spured by watching a preview of Bernard & Dorries which Ralph plays a gay man. (which I've never seen him in before)



Anyways, in the dream, it was night. I was in one of those olden rooms you'd find in 16th century movies and I'm asleep. Then Ralph walks in. I didn't realise he was blind and he was feeling his way through. I jump up and move towards him to aid him. Which resulted in a deep embrace. An embrace which got me really horny. He reciprocated my warm touch.

The next thing I knew, we were totally humping each other. I don't think he knew who I was. He just liked this warm feeling of being with someone and being appreciated. (well with his looks and age and all). We were both hard. I pull his pants off just to make sure. I felt his butt and his hard cock. And we just sat on this nice high old chair humping each other like teenagers with their first time and feeling each other's hardness. It was so erotic that I nearly had a wet dream.

I woke up humping the pillow was nearly about to come.

But I thought of you Lord. And I stopped. Not long to go I know. 14 days I can hack.

So I went out last night for someone's farewell at Kings' Cross. We went to a bar called Goldfish which was pretty posh and quite nice. I looked hot!!! And yet...

I felt like it was a waste of time. Too many drunks, screaming your lungs out just to have a conversation, expensive expensive drinks and just no one to make eye contact with. I was trying to eye Rob, but like always, he's a dud.

Still...I was just following my tarot readers advice, which was to go out there, have fun and get the whole vibe going.

Hope it works.

Luke & Noah's Story - ATWT - Part 288


Wow...I've missed out on so much. Been so busy. Ok, so Luke seems to be in another accident. Head injuries. And drama begins. Damien??? Luke's real father? I think I need to go back and find out the background in this and watch my ATWT Pack 01. Luke's father is Italian? Luke has an Italian background? No waaaayyyy...

Once again, my BF Noah is just in the background. He's uber sweet though.

I don't know who this guy is, but he's on the net and OMG he's uber uber hawt!!! I'm like totally fantasizing about him at the moment. When I first saw him, he looked like the uber hawt version of Mitch, this really cute guy I used to work with but he left. Maybe when Mitch buffs up, he'll look like this. What a dream boat!

Mitch is the cutey on the right. (though his friend is quite cute too)

What is the meaning of Love?

I'm all over the shop trying to figure this out.

If I was asked what I am like when I fall in love...I would say amorous, stalker-like and romantic.

I was reading a passage of the book "Eat Love Pray" and how she was when she falls in love...and... I am exactly like that.

What's weird is that when I AM in Love, I hear, read and stumble upon that person's name all the time. Like seriously!!! The weirdest one was when I was in this bad infatuation with a bloke I knew from our church group named Paolo. He was tall, charming and really cute, and Filipino. He kinda grew up here so his Tagalog was kinda bulol.haha But he was cute and at times after the meetings, he'd need me to drop him off. I think there was that sense of 'neediness' for me that kept that fire going, plus he was the one that introduced himself first. (the spark) Immediate crush material! I kept writing him love letters and dropping them off in his mailbox secretly. (stalker) At times, I'd make the odd phone call just to speak to him. (girl!) Then he killed it off by catching me one day and he asked begged me to tell him who was the 'secret admirer'. I think in the back of his head he always knew it was me.

But my point is, Paolo is quite an unusual name. But I saw it everywhere. It was the name of shops, tags in clothes, people in books and magazines. I never noticed how many Paolo's there were in this world until that time.

I saw Paolo a couple of days ago. He was looking at me at the station but I think he was shy to say hello. Me too. I haven't reached my goals yet and when I have, I am not ready to present myself to the world again.

I saw Justin yesterday. For a very long time (like weeks), this was our first encounter. It was only a minuscule of a second. But that single moment of time had the most tragic affect on me. Like a huge wave of tsunami just crashed all over me. I blushed, my heart raced, my knees went all wobbly, I couldn't speak properly, think straight (or gay for that matter) and I was all over the shop. And it wasn't even for a second...

So what's wrong with me?

It was his dazzling sky blue eyes.

Sure you can think that I am in love. But how can I be? When the guy hates my guts, I have not spent even an equation of a day with him and I don't know a thing about him and I'm old enough to be his uncle. (paedophile!)

Sure, girls can gush over their idols and singers and post up posters of them in their walls or wallpaper them in their phones and profess their undying love for them. But is this Love?

I believe this is admiration.

But could admiration cause sweats, red cheeks and weak knees or dyslexia? Or is this the true calling of "Love"?

I wish someone could enlighten me.

But then again...people have been known to cry over Elvis and Michael Jackson. (I'm not there yet...)

I've always been fascinated by this hot hunk who appeared in the Domex ads in the Philippines. Anyone know who he is? He's so gorgeous he should be in Sean Cody... :)

I couldn't stop staring at him. I think he hopped on at Auburn or Granville. The first thing I noticed about him was how bulgy he was. Big pecs, huge arms and a roundish butt. I think I get attracted to guys like these a lot. I just want to hold them, squeeze their pecs, caress their abs and butt and lick their nipples til they squirm. He later came down and sat a row away from me. He has nice blue eyes, a roundish face I could kiss all day, lashes to die for and did I mention he has huge arms? He was a bit on tubby side when it came to his tummy. Just the way I like it. he makes me feel better about myself. :) I bet he's a horny fella when it comes to it. Plus he has nice nails. This proves that he takes care of himself. I wish he sat next to me.

My problem with Sydney is that it's full of hot men. They overflow the streets and the stations. Which got me thinking. So much hot men. Yet, all I ask is one for me. Why I can't just get one for me?

Currently downloading the Korean movie version of Antique Bakery. I loved the manga, fell in love with the anime...so I'm betting a lot on this live version. Plus, there's an actual man-to-man kiss in this which is so advanced of the Koreans.hehe (and a white guy who speaks Hangul)

Here's the clip:

I dreamt of J last night.

It was so weird. I was somehow sitting in the bar with some people from work and we were just chatting. What was odd was that we were sitting on those seats like you are in a swimming pool and we were kinda laughing and having fun.

Then I heard my name. And it was him. It was Justin. (and behind him was Gil waiting with him) He was saying hello to me and he paused and smiled for a long while. Like he knew that we haven't seen each other for so long and that we should forget what happened in the past. Like he was willing to let it all go and just start all over again as if nothing happened.

It was like all my prayers were answered.

I stood up and smiled at him also.

It felt so real that I was confused when I woke up.

He looked a little different though. A little older, a little paler with heavier eye bags and short short hair. He wasn't as stunning as I usually see him...but it was him and he was willing to forgive me and I felt so much relief.

The new April edition of OUT came in the mail today.

The fashion shoot looks hot!

10:23am. Prank or phone call from a private number. Hmmm...

4:27am. Prank call from a private number. Hmmmm...

I was just on myspace account and last viewed: 401 counts.

Hmmm...who's been viewing me?

I wonder if J's actually been on mysite since now he knows my surname. (methinks)

Luke & Noah's Story - ATWT - Part 281


I've missed out on so much. Matt, Mark? Who???

At least this seems like the case is closed, Luke was right, now he can stop obssessing, him and Noah can get back to their simple lives and we can start a new storyline. Maybe this time about Noah. Like Noah gets a crush on some new guy.hahaha

It's nice to see them out of the set. Like there's really and Oakdale yadda yadda yadda...

Can't sleep. Maybe I'll watch more?

Luke & Noah's Story - ATWT - Part 280


Ooooohhhh...suspense.

11:27am. Private call from a some number. Hmmm...